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"Love is patient,
love is kind.
It does not boast,
it is not proud.
It is not rude,
it is not self-seeking,
it is not easliy angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects,
always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails."
1 Cor 13:4-8
"Ideal love is fostered only between two sincere, mature and independent people.
It is the inner struggle to polish these attributes that is the key. Real love is not two people clinging to each other; it can only be fostered between two strong people secure in their individuality."
-Ikeda Sensei, Wisdom of Words
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I had the weirdest dream last night that made me so tired this morning!
Here is how it goes, roughly...
in the dream........
I was down with some illness and then one day, i knocked into some wall and collapsed. That was the moment when I died. However after that, I managed to live in the death/alive zone. I have the power in my hand whether to be visible or invisible to the people around me.
Somehow, only my mum know that I am already dead.
Scene 1
She asked me, "Do you want to donate your organs?".. then I am like, "sure", however what continued my reply was.. " then i have to collapse again and then u call the ambulance"
*i have no idea why i said that*
Scene 2
My mum was short of cash, so she asked me to give her some lucky numbers to buy 4D/ToTo. But I was not allowed to tell her verbally, so i did some funny fingers actions to let her know the numbers. Then, out of the sudden, i found 50bucks somewhere and gave it to her.. *hmm?*
Scene 3
I was at this tall building, then i made myself invisible to everybody.
I flew from that building to another taller building, somewhere..
*at this moment, i really feel like i'm floating in the air..*
Scene 4
I am in my hall, i made myself visible to Peijun only. However, my neighbour could see me at my table, so she came in and said something like.." why are u doing all these, you should go where you belong to and don't fool everybody" *hmm?*
Then after my neighbour came, Peijun's bf came in, but he couldn't see me. Yet, he told Peijun that I can sense that she is here.. I was winking to Peijun when he said that, then i left the room..
- take note that no one knows i'm dead except my mother -
Scene 5
I was at my dear's place to find dear . (from the beginning, i was not able to meet up with dear or tell him anything). His mum was at home. I tried to make myself invisible, but yet his mum can see me.
Dear was not at home then. So I talked to his mum like nothing happened. Then after awhile, i left.
Scene 6
Dear called me. Then, he kept on screaming at me that why am i not being able to meet him or contact him. *i have no idea why too* I was not able to tell him that I am already dead.. *at this very moment, i was very very sad..*
Scene 7
I no longer have the power to stay on Earth, then i had to leave..
Before the hour i left, I was on the phone with dear.
Finally i was able to tell him that i am leaving.
I told him things like.. "this is not fair.." , "i am only 20, i still have many things not accomplished and i dun want to leave..", "i don't want to leave you and everybody else", " my family still needs me.."
Then... i had to go. * at this point, I can feel the sadness, anger and a sea of emotions in me..*
- ended -
I woke up. As i woke up, I felt so tired, my whole body was so tired and my mind was in a blank. I have the "floating" feeling.. I fell back to my bed and rested a while..
waohs, i can't believe what i had dreamt.
The dead/alive feeling was not very nice. It is like, you know your life ends there and you can't do anything to revive yourself to live on. Shit.
This dream tells me even firmer that, never take someone/things for granted.
* i am still so tired *
:: dawn tan :: at 3:55 PM
dawn tan pei yi
8 feb 1985
live to smile,
For everyday
is a beautiful day!
reading:
How to walk in high heels
- Camilla Morton
song in da head:
::voice out::