window of illusion

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"Love is patient,
love is kind.
It does not boast,
it is not proud.
It is not rude,
it is not self-seeking,
it is not easliy angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects,
always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails."
1 Cor 13:4-8

"Ideal love is fostered only between two sincere, mature and independent people.
It is the inner struggle to polish these attributes that is the key. Real love is not two people clinging to each other; it can only be fostered between two strong people secure in their individuality."
-Ikeda Sensei, Wisdom of Words

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Tuesday, March 28, 2006

boundaries...

sometimes, we are just bounded by certain issues that deter us from

doing or deciding on some matters.

everyone leads a different life and shares varying backgrounds.

but why do i find myself stuck at such position once and again?

i don't blame anyone, but i am just frustrated with the circumstances.

it is quite a chore.

it feels like i am sucked into this circle, and all i can do is either circum that circle or stand in the middle.

there seems to be no way out of that circle.

it is a joy to see people rejoice.

but it is painful to know that there are so many issues deep inside which

makes me different in a manner.

probably there are some who share the same fate.

or, probably it is a test of life.

i am not complaining or what so ever.

and, it's not a selfish thought.

i agree that at times, that green-eyed monster do appear.

well, that is inevitable. but i'm keeping it under-controlled.

i am contented with certain stuff that i have now.

isn't it a hierachy of needs that we just want to pursue more than our basic needs?

probably i should just be satisfied with what i am given.

probably those are my entitlements.

probably, the time is not ripe yet to go beyond that circle.

probably it is just not the moment yet.

but i definitely don't want history to repeat itself,

i know it won't and it musn't.

everything will be perfectly fine.

and,

everyone is going to be perfectly alright.

'hug' to the person whom i don't wish to disclose.

you are the closest to me and i cherish u alot.

u have been so kind and patient.

no one is ever sweeter than u are.

u deserve more than anyone.

i know everything is alright, but it is painful to see u

facing such high-lows.

all's fine and well.

and, i am thankful that this time round ain't like previous.

*hug*

:: dawn tan :: at 5:54 PM

Sunday, March 26, 2006

i say,

'people may doubt your abilities, but never underestimate yourself.'

:: dawn tan :: at 11:36 PM

Friday, March 24, 2006

if i have a car (and a driving license)...

(Peugeot 207)

i would do so many things!
1. i'll drive to changi beach or east coast beach for a run every morning.
2. drive around with dear to romantic places at night for star-gazing.
3. late night outs with besties (supper or clubbing or shopping)
4. bring my family out for morning dim sum.
5. evening, i'll go gym. (prob a membership gym when i'm working)
6. then dear will drive, and we go dinner together.
7. midnight - changi beach, see the aeroplanes boom above us.

there are so many things i want to do that I can't even think properly.

dear and i were talking one night.
and we talked about our ideal relationship when we are married and working.
he'll drive me to work, pick me up from my gym after work.
dinner together. rendevous.
weekends, he'll drive me to the gym, he'll golf or other things.
pick me up and we'll just hang out anywhere we want!

haha. sounds like every other married couples.
but i think this is an ideal one for me! :D

:: dawn tan :: at 2:07 PM

Thursday, March 23, 2006

dreams...

had a really terrible dream last night that made me felt extremely insecure when i woke up.

yae, it was about me and dear.

i trust him and i know it won't happen.

but, the dream seemed so real that i needed his assurance so much.

gave him a call and i felt so much better.

dreams are really freaky.

they can be as beautiful as everlasting fairy tales or,

they can be as eerie as ghost tales.

who are we to control our dreams?

our nerves never stop resting,

and i must say,

they work real hard when we are sleeping.

i wonder how does those gypsy dream-analysts work.

do they really know what does each dream signify in real life?

and,

is it true that we have to say out the dreams to people so that it wouldn't occur in reality?

i have absolutely no idea.

old folks' tales or rumours?

fact or fiction?

i guess the beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.

it is in our hands to decide the ending.

fantastic closure or teary ones?

:: dawn tan :: at 11:11 AM

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Sunrise or sunset?

Deep inside us, we always know that there are 2 sides to a problem or even a story.

Good or bad, right or wrong?

It is nature to be in a dilemma or squeezed between choices.

We never know if that decision is sound unless the ending is known.

Everyday, we take both calculated or non-calculative risk.

It is 'risk' that makes our lives go high and low, like the ride on a rollercoaster.

But, we still blame ourselves or others when something bad crops up.

Who is to blame?

Someone out there? or, just anyone who happens to be the scapegoat of the problem?

whatever.

life is such a chore, I must say.

Everyone lead a different life.

We compare and question.

If we don't, we pity.

I guess, everyone is in this world for a certain reason.

Devil or angel.

Everyone just do what deems fit and balance the ying and yang forces on Earth.

:: dawn tan :: at 8:03 PM

Friday, March 10, 2006

March...
Fresh month.. old me..

I was just looking at my reflection and realised that I am still the old me.
No major changes despite my resolutions.
What a disappointment.
Just last night, before I dozed off to dreamland, I flashed back the 20 years that I had lived.
Hmm, no whoo-haas.
The best things ever happened could be my mum's recovery and falling in love with Ed.
Other than these, I couldn't see what I had done for myself.
I don't want to be another NATA (no action, talk only).
Probably it is time.
Time to do something.

:: dawn tan :: at 10:54 AM

Tioman Trip with Hall friends (18 to 20 Feb 06)

Kudos to the committee!

Collage of some of the shots taken @ Tioman

some photos from the trip. it was a great experience to travel with hall friends to tioman.
the coach ride was acceptable but the boat ride was a killer.
but the great memories from the trip, such as the food, laughter, shooting stars, rockfall, snorkelling, override all the upset from the travelling!

We stayed at Happy Inn Resort at Kg. Genting, Tioman Island.
the food was fantastic! we had prawns, fish, squid and crabs like for every meal!
sounds expensive?
nah, we paid like S$160/pax!
Snorkelling was even better when we went out to Coral Island for some real action.
Seen corals and a baby shark!
And, a fish from the swordfish family.
I think it was an illusion cause nobody believe me. :P

Uhh, kampung life is simply laid-back and relaxing.
No worries, no stress.
It'll be great to visit Tioman again.. :D

:: dawn tan :: at 10:39 AM

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Romancing our 44th month together..

Love is about you and me..
Being together and overcoming all obstacles.
Thank you for showering me with the sweetest love.
I love you!
*muacks*

:: dawn tan :: at 10:34 AM

dawn tan pei yi
8 feb 1985

live to smile,
For everyday
is a beautiful day!

reading:

How to walk in high heels
- Camilla Morton

song in da head:

::voice out::

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