i should have thought so..

i've been putting myself in this box,
with filter papers on all 4 sides of it.
the filter papers have been a great deal of help.

but, i know, there'll be a day that i have to tear off these papers.
and, that day has come.

i dread how one can just shift the responsibility with just a sentence.
period.

what is the role of his own existence?
it doesn't take another to tell one but rather, it takes oneself to realise.
i just want to put this word 'REALIZATION' in his face.
it is definitely not worth my words or effort to do that.

i will still continue to put that layer of filter paper.
i will still continue to play my role.

as what a dear friend has encouraged,
just continue to be who i am called to be.

sometimes i just wonder why can't people
see the unique points of an individual?
the phrase of 'don't judge book by its cover'
doesn't appear for nothing.
take time to appreciate the person and
take a good time to understand.
don't be too quick to judge and put the emotions onto others..
be sensitive!

what's in store?

it has been some time since I've updated.
life has been pretty much the same!

ed has left for perth for his 2nd semester.
i'm trying to get used to it, but it felt much better than last time.

Now, i'm fighting a war - a wordy war with the earthly science.
I have been trying to complete my fyp report,
and it seems like never-ending!

to take away the mundane stuff, i have been enjoying my french class.
J'aime beaucoup le français!
it has been quite a tough time to learn its pronunciation and sentence structure, but the fun i'm getting out of it is... priceless!

How I wish I can just stay in France for 1 year to learn the language, experience the culture, interact with the people, visit the châteaux (castles), drink the wine, walk down the promenade..
I won't even mind working at the café!
Will this even be possible? Will I have the courage to do it?
With tuition fee hitting at the back of my head,
I doubt that'll be of any possibility.

Anyway, some pictures to lift up the mood!

During the recess week,
I managed to have a short getaway with ed @ Bintan.
Sun, beach, swim, more sun, all-terrain ride..
despite it being a short trip, the time spent was definitely worthwhile!

the all-terrain bike was one fun ride.
at the end of it, I had mud splashes on me!
what to do.. i had an adventurous driver. haha! :P

look out into the sea, from the swimming pool!
what a sight!

beautiful sunset to end the day!

------------------------------------------------------------------

valentine's day!

we chose to be away from the madness crowd and
tucked ourselves at kopitiam outside cine.
typical hawker food, but it was delicious!

what's more important on v-day is..
the time that we are able to share together.
And to take some time and appreciate each other's actions and efforts
in the relationship.

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23rd birthday!

oh, and there was my 23rd birthday celebration!
it fell on the 2nd day of cny and it wasn't that good a thing.
because most of the restaurants were closed!
but i had a great ice-cream cake, huge pork knuckles, yummy dessert..
that's something to cheer about!


ntu friends celebrated for me and yl too!
we karaok-ed at ntu clubhouse.
i was pretty surprised by its updated songlist!
and we had a cosy dinner at essential brew.
a good place to chill & relax with friends at night..
over a cup of nice brew!

girls at lifegroup celebrated for me too.
and we had steamboat at per's place!
it was my first time having sukiyaki steamboat.
and, yea.. it was delicious!

thanks to everyone who called, sms-ed, tagged, facebook-ed!
thanks to everyone who remembered, celebrated with me!

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cny 2008!

everyone was dolled up and my cousins were a cute bunch!
munching snacks, collecting red packets..
and of course, gambling away!

those were pretty much what happened for feb.
but what made me even happier was the result I had for my fyp experiment!
some quirky nerdy images to share..

these amazing structures are things that you guys will never get to see,
unless you are in my area of study.
just for-your-info,
these 'things' are carbon nanotubes.

i'll have to continue to work with them till my presentation is over in may.
when that's over,
that's the end of my university life.. :D

fidgety.. fidgety.. fidgety..

it is like a hurdle i can never cross in victory.
it is like a hindrance that sores the eyes.
it is like a stone stuck in the throat.
it is like a heart with closed valves.
it is like a deflated ball that needs more air to move on.
or, it is a hot-air balloon that floats by with a standstill time.

i say,
try to move on with gravity movements.

Next week is, finally, the 1 week term break.

But, i'll be heading back to school on most of the days.

So, I don't think it's really a term break afterall.

On the brighter side, I look forward to the shorter queue at 179. :P

It has been quite tiring to rush through each day.

Often, I want to slow down but, as soon as I try to do that,

everyone else is moving on so quickly.

I need a breather.

For the past weeks.. I've spent time with my mum & sis.

That felt good.. really nice..

Some pics taken..

Actually, I'm not really working very hard..

at least, i do know that,

i'm not slogging like a cow in the paddy field.

I'm not giving in my 100% effort to the things i'm doing.

Everyday, all I know is that,

I'm trying to move on each day with the 'list to do'..

It has, somehow, become monotonous & non-directive.

So, what is my purpose?

Just looking at the picture below, I know..

I know I have a certain purpose out there in this world.

nutty nutty nuts nuts nutty

i think im nuts.
to undertake 4 tuition assignments.
more cash, less personal time.

the only personal time that i can foresee would be..
travelling time on the train to boon lay and late night..
but, if i'm hardworking, those time would be tutorial/journal reading.

i think yr 4 is all about getting haggard.
sleep late. wake up early. pimples. puffy eyes.

eyes on screen. straining eyes on sem.

yr 4 is, also, about being very studious.
lib.computer.journals.prof.mentor.fyp.tutorials.lectures.books.

google.wiki.dictionary.thesaurus.research.
(is the list stopping here? i don't think so!)

omg.

now... where have THE holidays gone to?

When you are not being appreciated of whatever you had contributed..

When the bad always overrides the good..

When every little thing becomes significant to you..

When nothing becomes everything..

Maybe that is the point of time that you realise that you are existing.

To exist in order to improve..

To improve in the grace of love, forgiveness and patience.

it's never easy to exist.

Till the moment that u realise the reason of existence,

things will change.

caught this pic along the nicoll highway.

it's a nice sunset behind the skyscrapers.

took this with my handphone camera.

not very good quality though.

inadequate lightings and it was taken when the car is moving.

looks like it's time to venture out and invest in a new phone.

but i'm still loving my samsung e730!